Computer of Death (1987) English Subtitles

Computer of Death (1987).srt

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Greece, 2080 AD
Computer Science has infiltrated every aspect of life

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Blessed be the rears of the lady,

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cause otherwise I could not be ambushed at all.

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The art of the ninja, as you well know Mr. Velli,

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relies heavily on the element of surprise.

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I'll keep that in mind master.

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I'm sorry lady for scaring you,

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but these two attacked me with my consent.

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Once again, my apologies.

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Delta Video presents

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brought you by Michalis Lefakis

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THE NINJA WOMAN

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Starring

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Akis Florentis

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Despina Panagiotaki

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Yannis Pernakidis

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and featuring

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Alekos Mavridis

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T. Polychronopoulos

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Makis Nakos

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Makeup
Merry Ziagkou

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Photography
Christos Papageorgiou

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Musical direction
Akis Florentis

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Screenplay
Spyros Gousetis

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Director
Michalis Lefakis Jr

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Good morning Petros.

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Hello Filio.

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Why are so quiet? What are you reading?

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The couch philosophies of Vellis.

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Don't tell me they published his theory.

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Of course they did!

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His theories are ridiculous,

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believing that someone can be transferred
into a computer program.

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The problem is that he has the audacity to
publicly announce it,

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and with the blessings of the company—
wait, he's coming.

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Morning Filio, morning Petros.

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– Good morning.
– Good morning.

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– Anything exciting happen?
– Nope, nothing.

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He is completely over his head,

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they even gave him a personal office.

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Come on, let me treat you to something.

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I hope he has finished the game he promised me.

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I am bored of the same old things
over and over again.

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I think he is coming, I better open the door.

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Good morning pal.

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[groans]

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Are you being rebellious again?

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Well, have you finished the new game?

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I told you, I'll bring it tomorrow.

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Shit,

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I've heard that a thousand times.

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Tell me Eddis,

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where did you learn the word "shit"?

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This is a phrase of the lowlives.

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From the janitor,

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every time she comes by in the evening to clean,

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she murmurs "this all is shit".

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Don't speak this word again.

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I'm going say because I like it.

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He must not have slept last night,

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this explains him being aggravated.

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Relax.

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Partner up.

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You, put your leg forward.

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Morning Despina.

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Morning Yiannis.

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How the class going?

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It's fine. How are you?

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I try to be fine.

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You miss him?

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Of course I miss him.

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You know how much I loved him.

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If you need anything, I'll be in my office.

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You are getting on my nerves dude.

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What have I done to you? You won't talk to me.

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You humans are odd and unstable beings.

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So sensitive - you get offended very easily,

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and worst of all, you avoid explaining matters

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like the devil avoids the incense.

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Eddie, shut your dirty yap, I have work to do.

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Got it?

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If you don't tell me what I've done,
I won't shut it... got it?

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So you don't know what you've done to upset me?

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Of course I don't know.

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You know Eddie,

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did you think about what we discussed yesterday?

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I was hoping you would have forgotten already—

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Me, forget?

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What are you talking about!

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For 5 years I experimented on this thing,
how can I forget about it?

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Can you not understand that this dangerous?

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I know.

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I understand,

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but in the name of good science,
it is a risk that must be worth it.

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So, are you going to let me?

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Not again, I don't want to kill you.

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Then leave me alone.

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Look at this idiot,

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he's so desperate for me to kill him.

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Come in.

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Am I bothering you?

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No Yianni, come in.

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Grab a seat.

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Today I have an announcement for you.

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I'm listening.

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I've taken the decision to close
the kung-fu dojo.

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The bank is not giving me another loan,

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and if I can't pay back the first loan in 15 days,

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they will repossess my house.

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That's unfair!

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Mister?

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Paris Vellis,

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computer specialist.

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Glad to meet you, what do you need?

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I have a class here in the school.

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You see in the mornings I work,
so I'm forced to do private lessons.

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And you?

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What about me?

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I mean you too, do you have private lessons?

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No, I just work out here when I'm bored.

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Despina Pappa, glad to meet you.

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Aah, I see, I see.

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You must be the owner of the school.

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Yiannis has talked to me about you many times.

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I'm sorry I was late Mr. Vellis.

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No problem master, I was only just starting.

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Excuse me, I have to go.

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Glad to meet you Mr. Vellis.

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Glad to meet you too Miss Pappa, farewell.

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Really pretty woman master.

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How long has it been since her husband died?

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Six months, more or less.

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And she can manage the place on her own?

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Yes!

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She was the best karate student in here,

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but she quit after she married her teacher.

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All the students are good here master,
only I can't become a good student.

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You know, Mr. Vellis,

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why do you want to learn karate?

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I'll tell you.

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I want to be transferred to a computer program,

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and there I'll have to play some games,

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and I'll need the aid of martial arts.

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As you wish.

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Let's begin.

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Everything is shit.

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On top of that, I have this idiot not talking to me.

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He does not understand that if I transfer him
into the program

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he will not be able to come back,

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as it is really difficult to beat me in the game.

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Look who's here.

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To what do I owe the pleasure?

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I brought you a new game.

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Outstanding, what is the plot?

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One paranoid scientist posses the blueprints
of an atomic bomb.

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The player will have the face all the
dangers of each level,

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until they reach the scientist and
steal his blueprints.

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What kind of levels are included?

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You'll find out when we play the game.

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Give me the disk.

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We will play it only if you also allow me
to be transferred inside the program.

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No Paris, I don't want to kill you.

168
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Very well.

169
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Then we will play one of the old games.

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Why are you so mean?

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I'm sick and tired of the same games
over and over again.

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I don't care.

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Blackmail!

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Just because you can install any
program you want in me,

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does not mean you can not take into
consideration my own decisions.

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Everything is shit.

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And why should I respect your wishes

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when you don't respect mine?

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So you want to turn me into a
computer of death?

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I can't let you get in danger.

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Don't say you're scared.

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Of what?

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That I'll beat you.

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You cannot beat me in the simple games
you made as a child,

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what makes you think you could beat me in
these more complicated ones?

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It's one thing fight you with a controller,
and another to fight you directly.

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You know that,
and that's why you're scared.

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I'm telling you this is not the reason.
I just don't want to kill you.

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You are the master in trying to
avoid topics like this.

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But it's not shameful to admit you are scared.

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Anyways, let's continue our game.

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You are a blockhead.

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Go on, put in the new game and get ready to die.

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Russian roulette

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According to his theory,

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the game needs to be played until completion
and must not be switched off.

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Absolutely no one should tamper
with the computer.

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We hope that by offering 50 million,
someone will take it and help him win the game.

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The company needs him,

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he is the best scientist we have in
computer systems.

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Yes?

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The candidate refused?

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OK.

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Get in contact with the next one.

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Boss.

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I think Mr. Vellis took some lessons
in a karate dojo.

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Maybe someone from this dojo
could be transferred to the computer.

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Who owns the dojo?

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A woman, her husband was a karate master.

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Her name is Pappa.

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Go find her.

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– And whatever you do, make it fast.
– Yes sir.

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The greatest joke

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Two matches where playing 31

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and one of them got burned.

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The Tower of Dracula

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Why doesn't the level change?
What have I forgotten?

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I cannot deny that is a dangerous mission,
Miss Pappa.

219
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You will stare death in the face death many times.

220
00:27:07,780 --> 00:27:09,900
From what you've seen in Mr. Vellis' notes,

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it's one of the most difficult games
he has ever created.

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If you lose even once in this game, you are doomed.

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In this game, there are no checkpoints.

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None.

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When you play with a controller,
you can restart from the beginning.

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I am not sure if this is the case when
you are in the computer.

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In case I do beat the computer,

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will I be able to return in this dimension?

229
00:27:38,340 --> 00:27:41,260
According to Mr. Vellis' theory, yes.

230
00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:44,300
But it's not a guarantee.

231
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:47,780
Can someone go inside the program already armed?

232
00:27:48,260 --> 00:27:49,340
I don't know.

233
00:27:49,740 --> 00:27:52,780
We are up against a new reality with
that computer.

234
00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:54,660
Revolutionary, I could say.

235
00:27:54,820 --> 00:27:58,780
As you can see, no-one would accept this offer,
not even for 50 million.

236
00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:02,060
Alright, I'll double the price.

237
00:28:03,420 --> 00:28:04,620
How's that Mrs. Pappa?

238
00:28:07,780 --> 00:28:11,460
5 Penalties

239
00:29:14,060 --> 00:29:15,660
It's tied at 2-2.

240
00:29:16,620 --> 00:29:19,620
Now you will each shoot penalties
until a winner is determined.

241
00:29:29,420 --> 00:29:30,580
Yes!

242
00:29:44,260 --> 00:29:49,220
Vodka until you die

243
00:31:45,660 --> 00:31:47,380
Even now, it's not too late to back off.

244
00:31:48,260 --> 00:31:50,700
No Yianni, I need the money.

245
00:31:51,180 --> 00:31:53,980
But you can stay, you don't need to
put yourself in danger.

246
00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:54,700
No.

247
00:31:55,020 --> 00:31:57,940
I'm not letting you go in alone, I'm coming with –
let's go.

248
00:32:05,900 --> 00:32:06,940
Good luck.

249
00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:28,220
Russian roulette

250
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:33,580
This is how we win - the bullet was in his turn.
Let's go now.

251
00:33:41,660 --> 00:33:44,180
The best joke

252
00:35:00,780 --> 00:35:02,020
What the fuck just happened?

253
00:35:02,300 --> 00:35:03,540
I have no clue Yianni.

254
00:35:03,660 --> 00:35:05,180
Don't talk, act like a duck.

255
00:35:53,540 --> 00:35:57,500
The Best DANCER

256
00:35:57,500 --> 00:35:59,860
This is your partner, you will compete second.

257
00:36:00,220 --> 00:36:01,620
The losing pair will be put to death.

258
00:37:02,420 --> 00:37:06,700
The Tower of Dracula

259
00:37:08,980 --> 00:37:09,940
Do you have any ideas?

260
00:37:10,020 --> 00:37:13,300
No, it's not like I have never encountered
a vampire before.

261
00:37:29,380 --> 00:37:32,100
Mr. Draculism, get back to your coffin!

262
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:00,660
Your turn. What are you gonna dance?

263
00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:01,740
The Ittia.

264
00:39:21,180 --> 00:39:23,620
You jump to the left corner, I'll jump to the right.

265
00:39:30,220 --> 00:39:32,380
You'll see, I'll tear him a new one.

266
00:39:38,140 --> 00:39:41,180
Do exactly the same, this time he will fall for it.

267
00:39:45,420 --> 00:39:46,420
You and your stupid plans!

268
00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:52,620
If we cover the left and right,
of course he'll shoot for the center!

269
00:39:54,660 --> 00:39:56,180
I will shoot at the center,

270
00:39:56,340 --> 00:39:59,260
you go there and do whatever you
can to distract him.

271
00:40:51,980 --> 00:40:54,060
Shot put

272
00:40:54,260 --> 00:40:56,140
You will receive one ball each.

273
00:40:56,180 --> 00:40:57,700
Good luck.

274
00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:14,740
1m and 36cm.

275
00:41:17,780 --> 00:41:20,980
My record is 1m and 22cm.

276
00:41:24,540 --> 00:41:30,500
Vodka until you die

277
00:42:59,980 --> 00:43:01,620
I have to win this one or I'll die.

278
00:43:02,140 --> 00:43:04,220
I have to win this one or I'll die.

279
00:43:04,620 --> 00:43:06,900
I have to win this one or I'll die.

280
00:43:18,260 --> 00:43:20,780
1m and 37 cm.

281
00:43:21,300 --> 00:43:23,740
At last I improved my record!

282
00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:35,580
The Best DANCER

283
00:43:40,060 --> 00:43:43,100
This is your partner, you will compete second.

284
00:43:43,460 --> 00:43:45,060
The losing pair will be put to death.

285
00:44:33,740 --> 00:44:35,780
Your turn. What are you gonna dance?

286
00:44:37,220 --> 00:44:38,460
Karate snake.

287
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:06,220
Minefield

288
00:47:23,740 --> 00:47:26,260
Shot put

289
00:47:26,460 --> 00:47:27,820
How are you at shot put?

290
00:47:28,260 --> 00:47:30,700
How you are in the mood for jokes?

291
00:47:31,020 --> 00:47:34,020
You will receive one ball each, and good luck.

292
00:47:34,980 --> 00:47:35,860
You want to throw?

293
00:47:36,140 --> 00:47:37,660
Of course I want to throw.

294
00:47:54,620 --> 00:47:56,940
1m and 67cm.

295
00:47:57,460 --> 00:47:58,420
Good shot.

296
00:48:11,140 --> 00:48:13,300
1m and 45cm.

297
00:48:21,700 --> 00:48:26,900
Strip poker

298
00:50:20,460 --> 00:50:21,340
You fold?

299
00:50:21,460 --> 00:50:24,220
– No.
– Good. Neither do I.

300
00:50:24,340 --> 00:50:25,700
Four of a kind on Queen.

301
00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:53,700
Minefield

302
00:50:53,860 --> 00:50:55,020
Ah, here's something easy!

303
00:50:55,380 --> 00:50:57,540
Ladies first, hop on my back.

304
00:51:55,540 --> 00:52:01,900
Strip poker

305
00:52:04,060 --> 00:52:06,100
Thank God Mr. Vellis, you're still alive.

306
00:52:06,140 --> 00:52:07,220
How come you're here?

307
00:52:07,260 --> 00:52:09,180
Your company sent us to help you out.

308
00:52:09,740 --> 00:52:13,780
I don't need help, I'll face Eddie by myself.

309
00:52:13,900 --> 00:52:16,380
Leave the egos aside Mr. Velli.

310
00:52:16,820 --> 00:52:18,740
We share a common fate now.

311
00:52:18,900 --> 00:52:21,980
Even if you want to die, we don't.

312
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:24,940
Maybe you are right Miss Pappa,

313
00:52:24,980 --> 00:52:27,220
but I didn't ask you to help me.

314
00:52:27,500 --> 00:52:31,980
Also, I don't believe you've done this
without some form of compensation.

315
00:52:32,700 --> 00:52:34,980
It's true Mr. Vellis - we got paid for it,

316
00:52:35,100 --> 00:52:37,980
but I'm sure by now you regret coming here too.

317
00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:50,820
Mr Vellis, would you like me to
finish this game instead?

318
00:52:51,340 --> 00:52:52,620
If only you could.

319
00:52:53,340 --> 00:52:56,420
But I started this game, so I must finish it.

320
00:52:56,940 --> 00:52:58,820
For if anyone would take my place

321
00:52:59,420 --> 00:53:01,540
then the game is forfeited to the computer.

322
00:53:02,180 --> 00:53:03,340
And then we are all doomed.

323
00:53:27,220 --> 00:53:29,220
I'll check.

324
00:54:39,620 --> 00:54:41,060
If something goes bad,

325
00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:43,940
you cannot continue by yourselves.

326
00:54:44,140 --> 00:54:45,940
Sadly the game ends for all of us.

327
00:54:46,860 --> 00:54:50,060
I think it's time for me to confess
something to you.

328
00:54:51,140 --> 00:54:52,580
I am in love with you.

329
00:55:04,180 --> 00:55:05,300
Thank god.

330
00:55:12,540 --> 00:55:14,780
Guys, we have to move on.

331
00:55:15,140 --> 00:55:17,340
Until now we were lucky.

332
00:55:17,620 --> 00:55:19,100
Now get ready for the difficult part.

333
00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:41,500
Face-to-face with punks

334
00:55:59,380 --> 00:56:01,460
Guys keep an eye on them, there are three.

335
00:56:03,820 --> 00:56:05,180
I'll deal with the fat one.

336
00:56:05,260 --> 00:56:06,580
Despina, you take the girl.

337
00:56:06,620 --> 00:56:07,660
Mr. Vellis, the remaining one.

338
00:57:12,420 --> 00:57:16,420
Triple jump

339
00:57:22,860 --> 00:57:23,860
I'm gonna jump.

340
00:57:24,060 --> 00:57:26,620
You have from one jump each. Good luck.

341
00:57:45,340 --> 00:57:47,140
That was dishonorable behavior, master.

342
00:57:47,540 --> 00:57:50,820
In these situations Velli,
there is no fair and unfair.

343
00:57:50,860 --> 00:57:52,500
We have to get out of this hell.

344
00:58:06,620 --> 00:58:07,780
3m and 50cm.

345
00:58:19,020 --> 00:58:21,380
Rambo

346
00:58:24,380 --> 00:58:26,700
How are we suppose to predict from
where they'll be coming from?

347
01:00:06,540 --> 01:00:09,700
Arm wrestling

348
01:00:09,740 --> 01:00:11,620
Should we face him all together?

349
01:00:12,140 --> 01:00:14,700
But the fair thing is for me to face him myself.

350
01:00:14,940 --> 01:00:17,660
Fuck fairness, we're trying to survive here!

351
01:01:02,460 --> 01:01:07,180
Black Panthers

352
01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:25,700
You two take the one on the right.

353
01:01:49,860 --> 01:01:50,900
How are you doing master?

354
01:01:51,100 --> 01:01:52,700
Ha - nothing serious, you?

355
01:01:52,860 --> 01:01:54,460
I'm fine, just bruises.

356
01:01:55,020 --> 01:01:58,860
Guys, I am really sorry I put you in
this deadly situation.

357
01:01:59,220 --> 01:02:00,260
I am truly sorry.

358
01:02:00,380 --> 01:02:01,820
No worries Mr Vellis.

359
01:02:01,820 --> 01:02:05,060
We already knew what we would face when
we went into the computer.

360
01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:08,620
So be it, but let's drop the formalities.

361
01:02:09,260 --> 01:02:11,340
I'm not Mr. Vellis, my name is Paris.

362
01:02:11,500 --> 01:02:12,420
Ok Paris.

363
01:02:20,180 --> 01:02:24,300
Mafia

364
01:03:06,500 --> 01:03:11,300
Chainsaw Schizophrenic

365
01:04:07,180 --> 01:04:14,340
Horror in the graveyard

366
01:04:43,660 --> 01:04:45,220
Things are going from bad to worst.

367
01:05:09,740 --> 01:05:11,500
Guys, form a line!

368
01:05:28,020 --> 01:05:30,060
Dragons of Kung-Fu

369
01:06:53,340 --> 01:06:57,460
Ninja

370
01:07:35,740 --> 01:07:37,860
Paranoid Scientist

371
01:07:54,380 --> 01:07:57,180
Guys, let's tear apart these papers.

372
01:07:57,180 --> 01:07:59,380
Then we can win the game and escape this hell.

373
01:08:13,980 --> 01:08:15,420
Quick, get him to the hospital!

374
01:08:18,020 --> 01:08:20,500
You go too, I'll stay a little bit longer.

375
01:08:20,780 --> 01:08:22,700
Boss, help Miss Pappa.

376
01:08:58,420 --> 01:08:59,100
So?

377
01:08:59,740 --> 01:09:01,180
Is there more?

378
01:09:01,540 --> 01:09:03,620
I must say, I won unfairly.

379
01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:05,620
I couldn't have done it alone.

380
01:09:06,460 --> 01:09:08,100
But I will make amends for it.

381
01:09:09,020 --> 01:09:09,940
Explain.

382
01:09:12,700 --> 01:09:14,180
I'll make you a new game.

383
01:09:15,100 --> 01:09:17,700
I have only one condition.

384
01:09:17,820 --> 01:09:18,860
Let me hear it.

385
01:09:19,340 --> 01:09:22,580
The game will be for the three of you.

386
01:09:23,020 --> 01:09:25,580
I'll ask them, and I'll tell you.

387
01:09:40,540 --> 01:09:41,180
Pari

388
01:09:41,580 --> 01:09:47,020
I'm happy you are back, even if you say stupid shit.

389
01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:59,100
The End