Conflict Management Template -- Derived from The Art of Conflict Management

Conflict_Management_Template.md

Conflict Management Template

1. State the voluntary behavior that bothers you and why it bothers you

• When you [behave in a certain way] I feel [negative emotion]
• You are [behaving in this way] and that is a problem for me because ___.
• Acknowledge I have the right to feel certain emotions and I do not have to apologize for the way I feel.

2. Identify and evaluate goals and interests

Shared Goals

What are our shared goals and how can we help each other to reach them?

My Topic Goals

Answers "What do I want?". Most likely to be perceived as being incompatible with the other party's goals.

My Relational Goals

Answers "How do I want to be treated in this relationship?"

My Identity Goals

Answers "How do I want to be perceived and how do I want to perceive myself?"

My Process Goals

Answers "How do I want to resolve this conflict?"

My Interests

When goals are identified, if I were to take a position about a goal, what would be the interest behind the position?

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Their Topic Goals

Answers "What do I want?". Most likely to be perceived as being incompatible with the other party's goals.

Their Relational Goals

Answers "How do I want to be treated in this relationship?"

Their Identity Goals

Answers "How do I want to be perceived and how do I want to perceive myself?"

Their Process Goals

Answers "How do I want to resolve this conflict?"

Their Interests

When goals are identified, if I were to take a position about a goal, what would be the interest behind the position?

3. Decide whether or not to resolve the conflict by negotiating

Consider the leverage each party has, the risk associated with addressing the conflict, and the BATNA both parties can wield.

My Leverage

My Risk

My BATNA

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Their Leverage

Their Risk

Their BATNA

4. Arrange a meeting directly and privately, in person or over the phone.

• Label the conflict as a problem and state the issue exactly as described in step one.
• Tell the other party that I would like to find a solution to the problem that will satisfy both parties.
• Ask when will be a good time to meet, and provide a specific timeframe.

5. Conduct the meeting

• Lead the meeting by thanking the other person for his/her time and willingness to listen.
• Restate the issue as defined in step one.
• Ask the other person how he or she wants to proceed.
• During the meeting, stay focused on interests and goals, steer the conversation on something that can be agreed on based on objective criteria.

Solutions

Brainstorm multiple options that promote mutual gain

Successful Criteria for Solutions

Assess the value of suggestions by defining objective criteria.

6. Make an agreement between the parties about what each will do to solve the conflict.

• Must be clear with no unambiguity, and address voluntary behavior from the present forward.
• Verbalize the agreement, then check to make sure that the other party has the same understanding.
• Ask the other party whether he or she agrees to the contract and confirm my own agreement.
• If the other party offers a statement that does not relate to clear, voluntary behavior (e.g "I'll try"), identify concrete behaviors that stand behind "trying".
• If a win-win cannot be found, consider compromise.
• It may be worth specifying a time to check-in, making sure that the agreement is working.

7. Follow through on the contract.

• Express appreciation for his or her behavior if the other party is in compliance.
• If the other party is not in compliance, or unforeseeable difficulties arise, go back to step 4.