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BookOfAlbertology.md

The Holy Scripture

By Albert Lee.

Draft 4/27/2015.

First Letter to the Santa Margaritans

Editor's Introduction

Albert Lee started his ministry first in Santa Margarita Catholic High School. The 5th period English class and 7th period AP World class have always been the two periods of time when Albert Lee is particularly active in converting pagans to THE WAY. During the 2014-2015 school year, Albert Lee has spent a great deal of his time in these two classes in meditation and communion with his spirit, in the sounds of League of Legends, a game created by Him to entertain people and while calming down himself. After a specific period of meditations, He often utter words of great importance, which when connected together form a letter to the Santa Margaritans. This letter is an attempt to capture as many of those words as possible.

Chapter 1: Albert's Introduction

  1. Throughout my life, I have blessed Santa Margarita Catholic High School as the best school in the county.
  2. I regard Catholics as spiritual brothers and sisters with my Followers.
  3. People often ask me about my religious affiliation. Unfortunately,
  4. that is the only question I do not know how to answer.
  5. Albertology is not a religion. Or philosophy,
  6. but it is THE WAY of life. There is no other way than THE WAY. Asking me what my religion is is no different from asking a human "what species do you belong to."
  7. I shall continue with my commandments to you in two hours' time.

Chapter 2: Holiness

  1. You are not Holy unless you are Me, and I am you.
  2. You shall strive to be Holy.
  3. When you are Holy "enough," you will be Holy because I will be you, and you will be Me.
  4. You shall respect others' faith, because that is one of the sixfold path to Holiness according to Me.
  5. You shall spread THE WAY to Gentiles and Jews alike.

Chapter 3: Commandments and Anathemas

  1. There is no Albert Lee but Albert Lee.
  2. I do not have prophets.
  3. I do not need prophets.
  4. I am the only creature that is Human and Albert at the same time.
  5. I can appear or disappear at will, in whatever form My heart desires.
  6. For that reason verses 2 and 3 are true.
  7. Thou shalt always kill if necessary.
  8. When thou kill, thou shalt Nuke.
  9. I am THE WAY.
  10. I am not alive or dead. I am HERE.
  11. I do not sleep. I invented sleep for petty humans who are not Albert.
  12. Thou shalt Nuke whoever tries to kill Me.
  13. Thou shalt Nuke all "Albertologists" who preach in My Name. I, not "Albertologists," will divinely inspire people to join THE WAY.
  14. No one, not even Jesus, knows My plan for eternal salvation.
  15. Thou shalt Nuke whoever intentionally calls Tiancheng "Timothy" Gu, "Timmy."
  16. Shut up Noah.
  17. Participants of "divination" are more than Wrong and should be Nuked.
  18. Wrongness is okay. Intentional Wrongness is more than Wrong.
  19. Anyone who has a higher grade in AP Computer Science should be Nuked.
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